Today was the first time I have been paid to sing in a room with other people since 15 March. Leave aside one emergency coaching/recording session*, that is close to four months of making music via Zoom, or more often than not, alone in my house (with a backing track, if I’m lucky).
I have been looking forward to this moment since I was booked for it a month ago. In fact, the anticipation has grown so immense between Monday and today, that I felt quite ill with excitement this morning. The job in hand was a rehearsal for a new piece by Ninfea Crutwell-Reade that will be recorded on Monday as part of the Presteigne Festival’s digital offering. Nine of us rehearsed in North London, socially distanced, fully masked and in a well-ventilated room.
So, how did it feel? Well, not quite as joyful as I was expecting. At the end of the day, it was still work and we were still being paid to deliver the goods. The first rehearsal of a new work still requires calm, focus, professionalism – same as it did four months ago! To put it bluntly, once we were in the moment of rehearsing, there wasn’t much brain space to think ‘Oh my goodness, we’re making real music together’ as most of my brain was consumed by counting, text and ensemble (even harder when socially distanced).
There were new things to get used to: inhaling a little bit of mask when taking particularly big breaths; being far more mindful of colleagues’ personal space; not being able to mouth questions (or even whisper them!) to your colleagues so as not to disturb the rest of the rehearsal… And worst of all, not being able to see if someone is smiling – something we will all have to get used to in the months ahead.
It was good to be back. Really good. But I think the true sigh of relief will take place when I come to the end of a performance in front of a full-capacity theatre/recital room/school hall. Something that still feels in the very distant future.
* Obviously when it was legal to do so – I’m not Dominic Cummings.