My grandparents were immigrants. I have the privilege of calling myself an expat, but I call myself an immigrant anyway because expat is such an arrogant term, and because an immigrant is what I am.
It is a humbling experience to be an immigrant. Today it has involved watching an election take place in a country where I have chosen to invest my future, but having no say in the result. For my first 6 months here, being an immigrant meant feeling like I was breaking the rules every time I went to the bank, or the post office, because I didn’t yet have the document that proved my right to be living here. Back in January, being an immigrant meant a 40 minute interview with the border police, desperately trying to prove that I was allowed into the country.
Being an immigrant means doing everything important in your second language: finances, healthcare, making new friends. It means giving your number incorrectly to your cute neighbour because you are too tired to think in English - let alone German. It means making mistakes, accepting corrections with humility, and taking another step forwards.
Being a British immigrant post-Brexit has its own particular nuances. I got turned away from the theatre a couple of weeks ago for having a UK vaccine pass. Brexit-related bureaucratic challenges often just engender the response: ‘well, you voted for it’. Having an English accent normally provokes a look of sympathy or disdain, although that problem probably isn’t new...
I picked up my visa three weeks ago; a small piece of plastic that makes me feel like a different person. When people ask for ID, I no longer have to embarrassedly flash my British passport at them. I am valid. There are still a few rules to follow that make life a little more complicated, but it is a smaller weight to carry on my shoulders than the uncertainty of waiting. This last year has taught me a lot of humility, and a lot of respect for anyone who chooses to uproot their life to go and live somewhere else in hope of a better future. It’s not always easy, but who wants easy anyway?